Sunday, May 13, 2018

What Every Mother Wants

I often find funny jokes in Boys' Life Magazine.  They seem to get all the jokes.  Girls' Life Magazine is an American teen magazine similar to other magazines directed to women - advice about friends and familiars, stories on popular culture, fashion, and celebrities.  Boys' Life is the monthly magazine of the Boy Scouts of America for boys from 7 - 17. It began in 1911 and when it started was edited by 18-year-old Joe Lane.  Fast forward to today and Boys' Life is targeted towards older boys and features buying guides, video games, things to do, sports,  and still features scouting activities.  It still contains jokes in every issue. 

I looked through the Boys' Life Mother's Day jokes.  And then I found this one - it is NOT in the Boys' Life Compendium of Mother's Day Jokes. Boys' Life Magazine remains a general interest and wholesome magazine - it describes its style as crisp, punchy writing in relatively short, straight-forward sentences.  So as you read this joke, it would clearly not appear in Boys' Life Magazine.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. 

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." 

The second said," I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." 

The third smiled and said, "I've got you, both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000.00 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it." 

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote the first son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." 

"Marvin," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" 

"Dearest Melvin," she wrote to her third son, "You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. That chicken was delicious."

I stopped at Sunnybrook Winery on the Lakeshore in NOTL, and took this picture of the orchard on Lake Ontario. Our second picture is the Weeping Cherry tree on Niagara Street.

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