Wednesday, December 23, 2015

That Green Christmas

The El Nino this year has been named 'Godzilla' and it is clearly in the headlines here. There is a picture of a green golf course in Oakville on the cover of the Globe and Mail.

The Toronto Star is telling us there are 10 pros and cons of a green Christmas.  Here they are:
Here are 10 pros and cons of having a green Christmas.
The dour
1. Every Christmas song makes you sad:
Do you wish you had a river you could skate away on, but it has yet to freeze over? Are you dreaming of a white Christmas, but all you see is grey?
It’s hard to get in the Christmas spirit when basically every song written about the season celebrates letting it snow, frosty the Snowman and winter wonderlands.
Oh well, as Bing Crosby says: Mele Kalikimaka
2. This isn’t a green Christmas, it’s a brown Christmas:
Calling it a “green Christmas” is an insult to all those paradise lands like California, Hawaii and Florida that get to enjoy a warm December.
If this were a green Christmas, we’d be drinking a margherita and swimming in the pool without complaints. But no, this is a brown Christmas. It’s a grey Christmas. It’s not warm, it’s not cold, it’s just mucky and drizzly, like March’s bad hangover.
Pick a season, Christmas, please.
3. Useless presents:
That $800 Canada Goose jacket you were so excited to get for Christmas is basically an expensive cushion, for all the good it will do you. That lovely scarf your Aunt Nettie knitted you might as well become a tea cosy. And those skis. Those skis! Hahaha. Have fun with those.
4. Cabin fever:
When it’s cold outside, there is nothing better than snuggling up on the couch in your jammies with a cup of cocoa (maybe spiked with rum), knowing that almost nothing is open on Christmas Day and you couldn’t care less.
But this scenario becomes decidedly less cosy when it’s warm enough to actually do something, but you’re stuck inside. Now you’re sweating in your flannel onesie and chugging cold beer.
Everything just got so much less quaint.
5. Bad holiday hair:
So you’re invited to a slew of fancy fĂȘtes, and you have a lovely little holiday outfit all picked out. Only problem? FRIZZ. Nothing wreaks havoc on hair quite like this warm, drizzly, weather we’re having.
Your blow dryer is powerless, you’re wearing your hair in a bun.
The delightful
6. Christmas BBQing:
To heck with turkey and pie. Let’s grill up a couple of nice holiday-themed steaks. Or what about rack of lamb? Or maybe you could grill a whole salmon on a cedar plank?
Warmer weather opens up so many more possibilities for holiday feasting, it’s time to tie-on that BBQ apron and get grilling. Remember: nothing says Merry Christmas like baby back ribs.
7. Santa can finally hang lose:
Poor Santa Clause. He’s stuck in the North Pole all year and then he has to spend time in the frozen wasteland we call Toronto? This guy deserves to slip into a pair of sandals and take a break from the red velvet suit.
8. Embrace holiday caroling:
The idea of trudging up and down your street singing Christmas songs in the freezing snow is none too appealing. But if there’s a secret songbird in your heart, now is the time to let it out.
Put on a light jacket, grab some friends and spread that Christmas cheer!
No promises anyone will actually open their door to you, but hey, sing your heart out.
9. Holiday heels: OK, so your hair sucks. But this has to be the first year in recent memory when you could actually wear nice formal dress shoes to holiday parties, instead of your big, ugly, salt-covered boots.
10. Last-minute Christmas shopping: Let’s be real, you still have Christmas presents to buy, don’t you? Well luckily, you don’t have to manoeuvre around six-foot high snowbanks, skid down icy highway ramps or trudge through pouring snow this year.
So grab a latte and enjoy the window displays on Queen St. West.
It is the season after all.
We conclude with the season's greetings cards for the three groups on Redbubble that I host.

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